Here at Culture Wedge, we like baseball. We like good baseball. Most of us are located in Michigan, so we’ve had it engraved into our heads early on to root for the Tigers. We’ve been through enough shitty baseball teams. We’ve seen our fair share of shitty ball players (Chris Truby, Jose Macias, Craig Pauquette, Shane Halter, Mike Maroth, Matt Anderson, Nate Cornejo, the list literally goes on and on). So when Dombrowski and Leyland took over, we all thought all the bad players would be moved out, and better players brought in. Well, we were right in thinking that. With one exception. Brandon Inge.
Brandon Inge. He has been the bane of true Tigers fan’s existence for the past 10 years. I say true Tigers fans because there are lots of bandwagon fans (mainly females) who seem to love this guy. Inge has been starting at some position for the past 10 years. He’s been at catcher, outfield, and where he’s driven us crazy the most, third base. Now, Inge is not the worst fielder. He has made some amazing plays at third. But at best, I would say he’s average. This year alone, Don Kelly has made more plays at third than Inge.
What kills me, and the rest of us sane baseball fans, is his offense. He is ATROCIOUS. So bad. Here are his batting averages the past 5 years. .236, .205, .230, .247, .177. How do those totals keep you in the majors? Here are his homer totals the past 5 years. 14, 11, 27, 13, and 1 this year. That 27 number is nice, but for Inge, that’s like a Brady Anderson 50 spot. He also represented Detroit well with his awesome showing in the Home Run Derby (He hit this many).
Last year, the Tigers had the worst bottom 3 in their lineup in probably the history of baseball. Batting seventh, Inge, batting eighth, Gerald Laird, and batting ninth, Adam Everett. Three automatic outs. The Tigers decided to get rid of 2 of the 3, and that damned Inge was still here. WHY IS HE STILL HERE?!?!?!?!?!
Well, he’s not here anymore. He’s gone. The Tigers yesterday traded for Wilson Betemit, a third baseman who has hit .281 this year (a full 100 points higher than Inge), and is a career .268 hitter (close to 40 points higher than Inge). Once Betemit reported to the Tigers, Inge was designated for assignment, and sent to Toledo, where he belongs. He can’t hurt us anymore. Let’s Party!