twihards defy words

Last week I posted a breakdown of the trailer for Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1.  While I tried to be funny and sarcastic (whether I achieved either or both is a matter of opinion), I have to say there is no way I was as entertaining as the video above.  This is a “Twihard” (as Twilight fans are called) recording herself as she watches the new trailer.  What follows is screaming and crying and…wow…just wow.  After seeing this I decided to do a little YouTube search to see if there were more, and boy did I get more.  What follows is a scary journey into a dark and lonely place….

I love how this starts out with the girl just staring at the screen saying nothing for the first 40 seconds and then it kicks in with, “Oh shit he mad as hell.”  Quality.

Best Reactions: “OHHH HAHA SHIITT!!! [SCREAM]” for what apparently was the sex scene.  By the end of the video she’s almost reduced to tears.  She then mimics Edward “giving it” to Bella at the end.  Marcel Marceau would be proud (LOOK IT UP KIDS!).

We get two in this one, and not only that, but apparently the girl on the left is possessed by a demon or something as her slackjawed look at the start of the video may haunt my dreams forever. What the fuck is she watching?  Hypnotoad?

Best Reactions: There are two here.  One comes at the 1:18 mark where again the incredibly rough sex scene where Edward smashes the headboard with his bare hands (and probably destroys Bella’s uterus) is apparently the greatest thing ever to be captured on film.  The scene is met with screams and “Oh, shit YES!”  Apparently a girls dream is to apparently be completely and utterly destroyed when having sex.  Who knew?

Also at the 1:48 mark Creepy Girl somehow finds a way to get much much creepier as she makes some noise I can’t stop hearing now even though the video is done playing.  My God that is horrifying.

These two are what I immediately think when I hear the word “Twilight fan.”  I’ll let the video of them and that sentence just stand on its own.  Also they forced a guy to record this horror.  UPDATE: He will be missed.

Best Reactions: Oh man this one is a treasure trove.  At the 0:32 mark we get an “I’m nervous” remark from the larger one on the right.  Don’t be nervous!  If you somehow liked the first three shit shows I’m sure this one will be right up your alley!

At the 1:07 mark when Jacob takes off his shirt we get an excited “OOOOOHHHHHH” and it’s referenced as a “porn” moment.  Um…yeah….

And at the 1:50 mark we get another freak out over the sex scene.  SERIOUSLY?

Finally at the 2:30 mark we get a plot synopsis of the trailer, “That was headboard destruction and oh sweet Jesus in Heaven.”  Trust me, since Jesus is in Heaven he’s definitely NOT watching Twilight.

I recommend turning down the volume before you play this one.  Just a warning…

Best Reactions: Impossible to pinpoint a moment.  From the start when the word “Twilight” is mentioned it’s just moving and screaming to varying degrees of loudness.  If you still have eardrums after watching this I salute you.

And finally even though these guys are horrible actors, they pretty much nail the whole “Twilight reaction video” thing.  Extra bonus points for the guy in the background wearing a Santa hat and the copious amounts of crying (which is what I’ll be doing shortly, after watching all this and trying to scrub the Twilight stink off of me.  IT WON’T WASH OFF NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY!!).

So there you have it folks….hope you enjoyed the foray into the world of the Twihards.  Unfortunately this isn’t the only trip for yours truly as I’ll be knee-deep in this shit when Twilight descends on Comic-Con in two weeks.  Hopefully I make it out alive and with my sanity, though beggars can’t be choosers I suppose.

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About Brad

I love what I love and I am who I am. I'm a nerd. Don't like it? Oh well.
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