nerd christmas: nintendo goes for the kill

"Oh, Microsoft and Sony copied our motion controllers? Well who's laughing now? TOUCHSCREEN BITCHES!"

We end our wonderful foray into getting excited over the mere announcement of shit with Nintendo’s attempt to give a middle finger to Sony and Microsoft by kick starting the next generation.  The problem is that the big N has been giving the middle finger to hardcore gamers for a while already (think about this…what was the last Wii game you bought?  Mine was Punch Out!! a YEAR ago) so would they take this time to try to win us back?  Let’s find out shall we?

The Good

ZELDA, ZELDA, ZELDA: Nintendo didn’t fuck around and went right for the big guns with a Zelda 25th Anniversary medley.  As a guy with a triforce tattoo on his right forearm, I don’t really have to tell you how excited this made me.  Miyamoto came out and basically said they are dropping a Zelda game on every console this year, and that is music to my ears.  I mean have you SEEN the trailer for Skyward Sword?  AMAZING!

Link kicking ass with a sword with full motion control?  FUCK YES.  This is where motion control will actually be impressive and not some stupid bullshit add-on.  Swinging a sword with full 1:1 control?  AWESOME.  There is ONE problem I had with the Zelda announcements, but we’ll leave that till a little later on.

3DS finally gets some damn games: I got a 3DS at launch and do you want to know how many actual 3DS games I own?  One, and I barely play it.  Don’t get me wrong, Pilotwings Resort was fun, but I’ve found myself spending most of my 3DS playtime playing through some DS classics that I missed out on.  That’s pretty damn sad.  Nintendo screwed up royally by launching a system where the best first party games were a flight simulator and a submarine game.  Really Nintendo?  That’s the best you can do?

Thankfully they are going to stop messing around and bust out in a BIG way with a bunch of 3DS games.  Check this lineup out for the rest of the year…

Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D, Super Mario 3D, StarFox, Kid Icarus: Uprising

AWESOME! Add that to the fact that there is a string of 3rd party games AND they announced a Luigi’s Mansion sequel and things are looking up for Nintendo’s shiny new portable.

SMASH BROTHERS: This gets its own category.  The best part was they didn’t even have to show any video.  Iwata just MENTIONED that Smash is coming to both the 3DS and Wii U and everyone freaked out.  CAN’T WAIT!!!

Wii U…stupid name, awesome idea: Nintendo left the big news for last as they announced their new home console, the Wii U.  While that is a REALLY stupid name, the controller for this new console looks fantastic.  A touchscreen in the middle that I can play games on without a TV, use as another screen during games or even just play stand alone games on?  SWEET!  They didn’t really show any actual games for the system, but since it’s more powerful than any system on the market now I’m pretty sure it will actually get some 3rd party love.  They showed a tech demo and then teased us with an HD Zelda demo featuring a redone boss fight from Twilight Princess (HD remake at launch Nintendo?  PLEASE?!?!) and the graphics looked great.  They then trotted out a bunch of developers who said how great it will be to work on the system, including Bioshock creator Ken Levine (color me surprised on that one).  This could FINALLY be Nintendo’s big return to being an actual stand-alone system instead of basically being a companion system to your PS3 or Xbox 360.

The Bad

Fuck off Wii Owners: So you own a Nintendo Wii do you?  Well I really hope like Zelda because beyond Skyward Sword you apparently aren’t getting shit for new games.  Skyward Sword was the ONLY Wii game shown by Nintendo during their presentation, which has to be a kick in the nuts to Wii owners looking to get some play out of their system during its slow march to death.  The only silver lining is hopefully this means the Wii U will be out next spring instead of Xmas 2012 (though the fact that they showed ZERO games running on the system makes me think it’s going to slip to next Christmas).

The Desperate Plea for More


3DS Virtual Console + Zelda: A Link to the Past…COME ON NINTENDO: The 3DS eshop went live during E3, and Nintendo is providing a virtual console store on the system to buy GameBoy and GameBoy Color games in the future.  Right now you can get Mario Land, two other random games and Zelda: Links Awakening.  Now this is all well and good, but this 3DS is basically a GameCube in my hands so why no love for the GameBoy Advance in the virtual console?  I want to download Link to the Past Nintendo!  You hear me?  I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY!!!

A Link to the Past is in most Zelda fan’s top 5 list for best game in the series (it’s my #3 behind the original and Ocarina of Time) and yet it never seems to get much re-release love from Nintendo.  Yes it’s on the Wii virtual console, but it’s never on any compilation discs or even a port to the DS.  Its last iteration was on the GameBoy Advance and that was YEARS ago.  This game is a classic Nintendo and I want to play it on the go.  PUT IT IN THE ESHOP AND YOU CAN START PRINTING MONEY!!!


The Force is Strong with Nintendo: Overall a solid E3 from Nintendo….unless you were expecting them to release a bunch of awesome Wii games.  Though, let’s be honest, if you really thought that was happening outside of Skyward Sword you’re pretty damn stupid.  They trotted out a bunch of killer 3DS titles, and showed off what looks to be an innovative new system that seems to have a wide range of developer support.  If they can actually pull off getting great 3rd party games on the Wii U then Sony and Microsoft better watch out next generation.

About Brad

I love what I love and I am who I am. I'm a nerd. Don't like it? Oh well.
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