Everyone has nightmares. Mine usually have me being forced to watch the Peter Parker “evil” dance scene from Spider-Man 3 over and over again (we all have our crosses to bear. DON’T JUDGE!). Maybe your nightmare is super-intelligent monkeys leading a revolution to overthrow man. Well you’re in luck because James Franco is starring in a movie about that and it has a trailer! Let’s break it down….
Trailer opens up with shots of ominous looking drugs being made. Fun fact: this is also how pretty much every Resident Evil movie starts.
We then go to a board room where a bunch of suits sit around while their sinister looking logo plays on TV’s in the background. Anyone else notice how most boardrooms DON’T have the company logo anywhere, but in the movies it’s always on some high-tech screen in about 10 places?
That’s ok though because James Franco is here, and he’s got a drug that apparently will fix Alzheimers! YAY FOR US!! Wait a minute…didn’t someone else think of a cure for this before and something awful happened?
Franco is starting to look concerned (which is always bad news for humanity) as he learns that Caesar is getting pretty damn smart. It’s ok though, I’m sure if he just relays his concerns about Caesar’s treatment to his bosses they’ll respond in a thoughtful way that doesn’t start a series of events that lead to the downfall of humanity…
…especially when it’s followed by this evil looking mother fucker locking the super-intelligent Caesar away with some of his mistreated pals. The only thing worse is if he lectured Franco on the chimps not being “humans.”
Really, really fucked. Nothing like an ominous look from a super-intelligent and quite angry chimp to make you feel like he’s going to somehow overthrow humanity. Homer Simpson warned us about shifty eyed animals. WHY DIDN’T WE LISTEN?!?!?!
Oh boy, he’s built tools and is breaking out of prison. Just like Sean Connery in “The Rock!” Just a few seconds ago he was a sweet little baby chimp and now he’s breaking out of his cage hell bent on revolution. They grow up so fast! Luckily he’s the only super-intelligent monkey so I’m pretty sure his revolution will be short lived.
….and that’s that. Now we’re going to have to contend with an army of super monkeys, though we could just make friends with them and apologize for being dicks. Probably a better idea than saying we should kill them right?